How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
