did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
