Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's shark week go big or go home
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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