But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
