The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
