That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
