i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
