im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
