I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
