I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
