where am i from again
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Of course I have a pirate flag
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
