New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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