should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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