I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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