i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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