I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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