You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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