very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize