Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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