it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
