Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
