You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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