Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
