you guys were way drunker than both of me
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
