Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
