I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
