You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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