I think I am morally bankrupt
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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