the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
