love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I've blown a few things in my day
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
