He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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