oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There r osticjed everywhere
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
