My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There r osticjed everywhere
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
