my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
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