hell yes lets make some ravioli
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
