the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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