That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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