The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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