I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
How naked do you want me to be?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
