Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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