Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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