I have demons in me.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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