I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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