He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I know her cup size but not her name....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
