I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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