I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
