sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
