Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
