That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..