friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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