someone get that fucking seahorse.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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