is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
