plz talk dirty to me
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
