Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
