ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
