haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize