ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
