Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
