sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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