Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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